This past Saturday night we decide to head to the mall to hang out for the night.  We had no particular agenda… just to walk around and spend some time hanging out.  As we wandered we came upon a bookstore and it occurred to me that there was a new book I wanted to get.  I quickly asked my husband “Hey, do you mind if I pop in here for a minute?  There’s a book I want.”

This comes as no real shock to Merlyn.  (Well, and probably not to you either.  It’s no secret I read a lot.) Other than maybe rolling his eyes because he knows this will be longer than “a minute”, he kindly indulges my inability to pass a bookstore without going in.

Immediately I dash off.  This time I’m a little anxious and in a hurry.  I quickly start scouring the store looking for the Christian book section.  I figure this one has to be easy to spot.  Surely it’s on an end cap.  It’s only by one of the biggest Christian authors of our generation.

“Yep, there it is.  Oh man, right smack in the middle of the store screaming the title So Long, Insecurity.  Ok, quick just read the back cover and grab a copy.  Maybe people will think I’m getting it for someone else.”

There I was being insecure about buying a book about insecurity.

Yep, I guess this one’s for me.

Even later when my husband asked me what I was reading, I simply said “Beth Moore’s new book.”  Even still, in my own home, with my husband of 11 years I was afraid to admit that I was reading a book about insecurity.

And while I’ve just started it, I’m convinced that this may be one of the most important books Beth has written for our generation.  As I talk with, mentor and encourage other women leaders, I’m becoming more and more convinced that our disease of insecurity is eating us alive and sabotaging the dreams God has for our lives.

If you even think there’s a chance you need to read this book, I want to encourage you to take the leap and get it.

Are you ready to say so long to insecurity too?

As I watched the Miss America pageant last night, I found myself conflicted.  As women I think we are naturally drawn to pageants, stages, celebrities and pretty things.  Because we’ve grown up with these things idolized and applauded it’s difficult to turn off those longings or desires.  I think it’s safe to say that every little girl wanted to be on that stage at some point in her life.

Continue reading at the 31 Day Challenge blog…

One of my favorite things to do is to sit down with another woman over a cup of tea to learn more about her life, her story, her journey, her dreams.  I’m always honored when someone just a bit younger asks to talk with me.  It’s a treasure to share how God has worked in my life, what I’ve learned so far, and what I would do differently if given the chance.  I love the idea of pouring just a bit of wisdom into someone else’ life.  And it’s an absolute gift when someone a few steps ahead of me will take the time to impart some wisdom to me.

I keep a running list of women I’d like to meet with.  My list goes forward to the women a few steps (sometimes a lot of steps) ahead of me.  These are the women who I believe can pull me along, kick me in the pants if needed, and stretch me to the next level.  And my list looks around me to the women who are just a few steps behind me either in experiences or age.  These are the women I feel responsible to encourage, challenge and stretch to achieve their dreams.  I’m convinced that the power of a gracious leader is immeasurable.  And too many times we as leaders are so busy seeking our own growth and gain that we’re missing the opportunities to invest in those around us.

This month at Cultivate Her we’ll be talking about the power of the gracious leader.  We’ll hear from several leaders who lead graciously by investing and empowering others around them on a consistent basis.  And we’ll be challenging you to identify one woman who you can invest in.

If you could have a cup of tea with any woman throughout history, past or present, who would it be?

My list?

Queen Elizabeth I

Eleanor Roosevelt

Mother Theresa

Condoleeza Rice

Today was our second event for Cultivate Her and we had an amazing time!

I’ve never seen so many ladies that eager to be up at 7AM!!

Our topic for today was discovering your strengths (based upon Strengths Finder).

As leaders, I believe it’s so critical that we do the tough work of understanding ourselves and how we are uniquely wired.  As women in particular we have a tendency to allow a lot of other things in our lives to define us and we lose sight of our God-given gifts, talents and abilities.  It’ s my passion to help the women of Cultivate Her more fully understand themselves and use their gifts and abilities to lead well.

I shared an excerpt from Marcus Buckingham’s latest book Find Your Strongest LIfe:

“Over the last fifty years women have secured for themselves greater opportunity, greater achievement, greater influence, and more money.  But over the same time period, they have become less happy, more anxious, more stressed, and, in ever increasing numbers, they are medicating themselves for it.”

That statement is heartbreaking to me.  It’s heartbreaking because I really believe it’s true.  I’ve begun to see this in my own life.  Our opportunities have increased rapidly and we’re adding pressure, responsibility and activities daily, but we’re not taking the pressure off in other areas.  We’re just piling more onto our already overflowing lives.

Marcus also shares in his book:

“‘Having it all’ doesn’t mean having everything, all at once, all the time.  ‘Having it all’ means taking yourself seriously.  It means knowing yourself well enough to find your purpose in life.  It means knowing what needs to change when you sense that you’ve lost that purpose.  It means having the faith to believe that change is possible and the courage to make those changes.  It means drawing strength from the relationships in your life, and, if there’s no strength to be drawn, knowing when to cut those relationships out of your life.

The conventional image of a successful woman today is that she’s a virtuoso juggler, somehow moving fast enough to keep all the many aspects of her busy life in the air at the same time.  This is a common image, but it’s also quite sad.  the core skill of juggling is throwing, not catching.  To keep every object in the air, you have to get rid of each one as quickly as possible, barely allowing it to register on your fingertips before you toss it up and away, preparing for the next object to throw.

A strong life is the opposite of juggling.  Juggling requires you to keep everything at bay, up in the air, away from you.  The secret to living a strong life lies in knowing how to draw a few things in toward you.  It asks you to be discriminating, selective, intentional.  You can find energizing moments in each aspect of your life, but to do so you must learn how to catch them, hold on to them, to feel the pull of their weight and allow yourself to follow where they lead.”

I’m willing to bet that most of you are jugglers.  You’ve learned to be really good at keeping things moving but rarely are you stopping to evaluate what you should be spending your time on.  You feel like you can’t put anything down and as a result you tap into your strengths less and less until you are not even sure what they look like anymore.

I challenge you to stop juggling and seek to understand what makes you uniquely you.

What are your strengths and gifts?

And how do you need to reorganize your life to experience the joy of leading from them?

I recommend any of the following resources to get you started on this exploration:

Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton

Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath

Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham

The Truth About You by Marcus Buckingham

Today at Cultivate Her we gave away a free copy of The Truth About You to everyone who attended compliments of Lindsey Nobles and our friends at Thomas Nelson.  (Don’t you just love free stuff?  We do too!)

I’m going to give away several more copies here on my blog.  Leave a comment and tell me:

1) Your top 5 strengths according to Strengths Finder (if you haven’t taken a Strengths Finder assessment just skip to #2)

2) What is one thing this week that you did that really energized you and made you feel strong?

Have a wonderful weekend!