I knew that when I committed to make “humility” my OneWord for 2011, it wouldn’t be an easy road.  I knew that and yet I hoped… I hoped it wouldn’t be too painful.  I hoped that God would grow humility in me without actually having to make me feel the pain of humbling myself.  I know… that just sounds kind of silly.  But I guess I hoped that since I was addressing the need for it, that it might save me the process.

Nope.

That hasn’t been the case at all.  In fact, I’m becoming so much more aware of the moments of pride and arrogance that mark my life.  Realizing that in itself, humbles me.

My prideful self is embarrassing.

Today was just another reminder.  I began my day a little lost.  We now have 5 campuses and I wasn’t really NEEDED anywhere this morning.  This should be a good thing, right?  We have amazing leaders at each of our campuses and I can trust them to lead their congregations without having to be all up in their business.  That’s a good thing.  It’s the way it’s supposed to be.

But if I’m honest, as a leader it’s tough.  It’s tough to not feel needed.  Its difficult to watch other leaders shine and to find myself in the background.

So after facing my insecurity demons, I headed out to our Bellevue Campus ready to serve Justin and his team in any way I could.   I thought “ok, cool I can hang out, chat with others, encourage volunteers, etc.  Easy breezy.  This will be a great day.”

And then I arrived.  Before I took five steps inside the door I discovered that the floors were in desperate need of attention.  The hallways in the entire building needed to be swept.

“What was that I said?  Oh yeah, that I would serve however I could?”

Yep.

I wish I could tell you I swept those floors with great joy.  I didn’t.

I forced a smile.  I made some jokes.  I told myself that this is exactly what a servant leader does.

But it was humbling.

This was the best way that I could serve today and so I served.

Hopefully taking another step towards developing a heart of humility.

Have you ever prayed for something that you knew was going to mean going through a painful process?

Alfalfa and I have one thing in common – the cowlick.

Mine is just left of the center of my forward (that’s left for me, right for you.)

My cowlick dictates where my hair parts and the overall direction of my hairstyle.  I’ve tried to work against it, but it’s fruitless.  It’s a part of me and for nearly 35 years I’ve been trying to learn to work with it.

I’ve found some assistance in managing this little nemesis.  Great styling products and a professional flat iron help quite a bit, but they don’t make it go away.  They just help me maintain some semblance of control.

I also have some inner cowlicks – those things about my character that while I can manage a bit better with increased self-awareness and the grace of God, the odds of them going away completely this side of heaven are pretty slim.

Patience for instance.  I’m horribly impatient. I remember my Dad gently telling me when I was a child that I needed to learn to be more patient.  I’m afraid to say I haven’t made much progress on his one.

“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”  Proverbs 14:29

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Colossians 3:12

What inner cowlicks do you battle?

I’ve been a little slow to the party on this one.

I just couldn’t get settled on a word and then I wasn’t sure I really liked the word that God kept whispering to me.

H U M I L I T Y

It’s painful to even type it because to commit to it is to acknowledge that I need it…

And so begins the battle with humility’s arch enemy – pride.

Ugh!

But humility it is because I need it to be more defining of my life.

“All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”  1 Peter 5:5-6

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”  Proverbs 11:2

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”  James 4:10

“He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.”  Psalm 25:9

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”  Ephesians 4:2

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”  Philippians 2:3

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”  2 Chronicles 7:14

“For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”  Luke 14:11

There seems to be no shortage of support for why this word should be my word for 2011.

How about you?  Have you selected One Word for 2011?

You can hop on over to Alece’s blog to learn more about One Word.

In case you haven’t figured it out by now…

I’m an “A-type”.

A control freak.

A planner and strategist.

A cross all my t’s and dot all my i’s type.

And currently I’m wrestling with God because he is not letting me be those things in a particular area of my life.

The only way I know to describe it is that He’s given me something to steward and he’s gently place it in my hands.  It’s fragile.  It’s undeveloped.  It needs nurturing.  It needs prayer.

My natural instinct would be to put a death grip on this thing and take full control as soon as He placed it in my hands.

But I can’t.

This thing won’t be controlled right now.  As much as I want to I can’t get my hands around it.  I’m holding it so tentatively that I’m afraid the slightest attempt to contain it will cause it to implode.  And I don’t want that.

It’s a gift.  It’s precious.  It’s a remarkable responsibility.

And I don’t know what to do with it.

I just hold it gingerly praying for clarity and direction.

I love this feeling and I hate this feeling.

I love the feeling of trusting God with it because it’s His.

I hate the feeling of inadequacy, fear and loss of control.

So for now my hands are open, gently cradling it, listening carefully and moving slowly.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar place of restless obedience?

One of my favorite books from this past year was Andre Agassi’s auto-biography Open.  The most surprising part of his story was that tennis was never his dream.  It was his father’s.  #1 in the world, over $31 million in career earnings and one of the best players of all time and yet, tennis wasn’t his dream.

As I read his story, I felt his pain, his frustration and his loss of identity as he pursued a dream.  A dream that was never his own.  And as much as he didn’t love the dream, he loved his father and he poured himself into it to make him happy.  His father’s dream eventually became his dream.

If Andre’s father hadn’t had a dream and held his son to the pursuit of it, I wonder what Andre would have become?  How good would he have been at tennis if he hadn’t spent hours on the court as a seven year old?  How realistic would the #1 seed have been if he hadn’t moved thousands of miles away from home to go to tennis boarding school?

What he achieved would have not been possible without the sacrifices.

His story gets me thinking about my dreams.  Are they big enough?  As a seven year old kid, Andre’s dreams weren’t big enough.  Only his dad had the experience and the foresight to know what could be.

What would happen if we traded our dreams for God’s dreams?

I’m pretty sure that I think too small.  I know I don’t dream big enough to push through the discomfort and the sacrifice.  What does it really look like for me to pursue God’s dreams?  What kind of sacrifice will that mean?  What kind of frustration will I need to face?  How lonely will I feel?

I’m not suggesting that the Agassi story is the perfect model for following your dreams.  It’s not.  But I have to wonder what God could do through me if I gave even a fraction of the energy that Andre did to my Father’s dream for me?  God’s dreams, God’s plans for me and for you are so much grander than what we can comprehend.

So with a new year ahead of us, I hope you’ll dream.  I hope you’ll seek God for his dreams for you.  Better yet, I hope you take the steps to see that dream become a reality.

I’m so excited that Cross Point is hosting Ben Arment‘s Dream Year weekend.  If you are ready to pursue a dream, this would be a great place to start!

THE DREAM YEAR WEEKEND IN NASHVILLE – JANUARY 21-23

Dream Year is a process designed by STORY creator Ben Arment to help people bring a God-given dream to life in one year.

You’re invited to Nashville on January 21-23, for the first Dream Year retreat. In one, pivotal weekend, you’ll learn the principles behind Dream Year and create a personal plan to pursue your God-given dream. Here’s what you’ll experience:

- The Dream Year process from start to finish
(For an overview, visit DreamYear.net)
- Personal feedback on your dream
- Case studies of successful stories
- Milestones for achieving your dream in a year
- New friends to share the journey with you
- Tools for managing the progress of your dream
- Analysis of your dream’s history and viability
- Ways to overcome the challenges of your field
- Resources to help guide your journey
- Special guests throughout the weekend
- Meals listed on the event schedule
- Morning morning lessons for a year
- A much-needed getaway in an exciting city

If you register by this Friday, January 7, you can get $50 off with the discount code CROSSPOINT.

For more info, visit DreamYear.net. To Register for the weekend, go HERE.

How can I pray for your dream?

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow” Albert Einstein

“The past is behind, learn from it.
The future is ahead, prepare for it.
The present is here, live it.” Thomas S. Monson

These last few days of the year are a great time for planning and preparing for the New Year. I suspect that you’re setting goals and making resolutions for this New Year with great excitement and anticipation.

I can’t wait to hear some of the things that God is laying on your hearts for 2011!

Let me encourage you to also take some time to reflect and learn from this past year. Celebrate the successes, mourn the losses, anticipate the opportunities still to come!

Here are a couple of great blogs with some suggestions for reflecting:

Questions to Ask for Reviewing 2010 by Brad Lomenick

Seven Questions to Ask About Last Year by Michael Hyatt

Take some time and process these questions, journal your answers and then share them with your spouse or a close friend.

Here’s to 2011!

Generosity.

It’s about so much more than physical gifts.

Generosity is an attitude of the heart.

It’s a gratefulness for what you have and openly, willingly sharing it with others.

So this Christmas be generous with:

• compliments
• gratitude
• believing the best in others
• time
• attention
• smiles
• service
• care
• concern
• giving credit to others
• love

Give Generosity!

The Christmas season is wrought with expectations…

Expectations to decorate your house like Clark Griswald or Martha Stewart

Expectations to pick out the perfect gift for everyone on your list including that person who is simply impossible to buy for.

Expectations to cook, to clean, to bake, to entertain…

Ok, you get my point.

Usually I do ok with all of those expectations.  To be honest, most of them I place upon myself.

But this year I had to give myself a break.

The idea of doing all the things I normally do this time of year had me spiraling into obligation and avoidance.  I simply couldn’t do all the things I normally do… and I should clarify usually LOVE to do.  That was a really strange feeling to me.  Why wouldn’t I want to do all the things I usually love to do?

And so after a few bouts of guilt and some good level-headed comments from my husband, I realized I needed to give myself a break this year.  Less decorating.  Less entertaining.  Less cooking.  Less cleaning.

I cut out the things that I could and I kept the things that brought me joy and were the most meaningful to others around me.

How about you?

Do you need to give yourself a break this year?

What expectations have you heaped up yourself that really aren’t all that consequential?

What can you give up so that you can experience the joy and the beauty of this season?

Strong.

People often use that word to describe me.

But honestly, I’m anything but strong.

That’s a vulnerable statement as a leader.  Leaders are supposed to be strong, right?  Everyone looks to a leader to be strong.  And once you’re described as strong, that’s the role you play for everyone in your life.  You’re counted on to be strong.

But the pressure of needing to be strong ALL THE TIME is enough to make anyone implode.

That’s because strong is a facade.  People who are strong are perceived to be strong for one of two reasons:

1) They rely on God’s strength. It’s not their own, it’s His.  They find their peace and rest in Him and discover immense strength in the moments they need it… because they realize it’s God working through them rather than them working in their own might.

And then there’s the other type of strong…

2) Those who rely on their own strength.  Those who pretend to be strong and have it all together because they are afraid of appearing weak, lacking control or incompetent.  These people make themselves crazy trying to be strong all the time for everyone.  They put on a great show but underneath it’s empty… shallow… fragile… anything but strong.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Deuteronomy 31:6

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”  Ephesians 6:10

“‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.”  Zechariah 4:6

Where do you find your strength?  In your own power or God’s?

Chick-fil-A

It’s one of my favorite fast food restaurants.  If you’ve experienced the brilliance of THE chicken sandwich, this probably comes as no surprise.  However my love of Chick-fil-A has less to do with their chicken and more to do with their atmosphere.  Chick-fil-A is also known for their polite and respectful staff.  “My pleasure”… who says that and means it?  The Chick-fil-A staff do, and I can’t help but feel a bit better when I leave that place!

Respect.  It feels like a lost art.

“Yes, sir” or “Yes, ma’am” are heard much less frequently.  Challenging authority is an expected right.  Preceding someone’s name with a Mr., Mrs., Pastor, Professor, Brother, etc is now a rare occurrence.

“Respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you.  Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.” 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

“Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.  They keep watch over you as men who must give an account.” Hebrews 13:17

I think one of the greatest leadership challenges for today’s leaders is earning respect. In generations past, at least a certain level of respect was shown for positional authority.  If you were an elder or a superior in some way, showing respect was a cultural norm.

In today’s culture, respect has to be earned.  It’s rarely a given based on your position in the hierarchy.  In fact, our culture fights hierarchy at every turn.

I love these passages about respect for authority because there is more to them than most of us read at first glance.  First of all, it’s a reminder that God did design order.  He intended for there to be people in positions of leadership and authority.  He called up people to lead others and to lead generations in pursuit of His plans.

But before those of us with some authority get too excited, consider the qualifications that surround these statements:

“respect those who work hard among you” – There’s an expectation here that leaders work hard.  I interpret this as leading by example.  Leadership doesn’t disqualify us from being in the trenches.

“who admonish you” – To be respected as leaders, we need to be admonishing those we lead.  Admonish means to counsel, advise or caution.  That suggests to me that leaders need to be caring and concerned about others.  We should be speaking truth with love and grace.

“they keep watch over you as men who must give an account” – Again, the element of responsibility that leaders have for those they lead is huge.  Leaders, we can’t take lightly this issue of accountability.  We’re responsible for those we lead.  We’re responsible for leading and guiding with care, concern and love.

Perhaps if we as leaders better understood our side of the equation, respect wouldn’t be such a lost art in our culture.

Your thoughts?