Yesterday we celebrated the life of a dear friend and mentor, Jimmy Holt.

Jimmy was a firecracker of a guy.  He lived life to the fullest and didn’t waste a minute.  He was constantly improving himself and surrounded himself with others who subscribed to the same mentality.

When I joined the Cross Point staff and began leading our Board of Directors, I’ll admit I was a little a lot terrified of trying to lead Jimmy Holt who was one of the founding members of the church and a long-standing Board member.

I don’t know how it happened, but somewhere along the way I earned Jimmy’s favor.  And being that Jimmy was a little “old school” and I was a young female, I knew that earning his approval was a very big deal.

Over time Jimmy and I developed a special friendship that I will cherish all my life.  He was a man of few words, so we didn’t have long, in depth conversations, but there was a mutual respect for one another and passion to serve the church together that created a special bond.

Jimmy believed in me whole-heartedly.  I remember one specific time his company was working on an office renovation project and he told his crew “you do whatever Jenni wants.”  That crew of workers wouldn’t put an outlet in the wall without asking me exactly where I wanted it placed.  If I had said 5 3/8″ from the door and 2 1/3″ from the ceiling, they would have put it exactly in that spot.

There were many times we were making big leadership decisions and I could count on Jimmy to cut to the chase and help our team make a decision.

Jimmy also invested in me personally.  He helped me develop my tennis game (but he never let me win ).  And he and my husband enjoyed several rounds of golf.

I’ve had several months to come to terms with the fact that Jimmy wouldn’t be here much longer.  I was fortunate to have some good conversations in these last few months.  I was able to tell him what he meant to me and I was able to remind him how much of an influence he had been in so many lives.

But yesterday in the memorial service, it hit me… and it hit me hard.

Jimmy had become a set of shoulders for me to stand upon. He provided confidence, stability and reassurance in the days where I was uncertain about my leadership decisions.  I always knew I could fall back on Jimmy.  I always knew he would help me think through a decision and find a way to make a dream possible.

Today I feel wobbly. I lost a large part of my leadership support system.  I lost some shoulders that I didn’t even always realize I was resting on.  They were so comfortable… and so safe.

A part of me was forced to grow up yesterday.  Perhaps I need to become some shoulders for someone else.  Perhaps a new set of shoulders will come along.

But I will always remember and be thankful for those shoulders I had the privilege of standing on!

It’s a little late in the day for my Friday Fun post, but here it is anyway…

Today was such a full, inspiring day!

• We kicked off the day bright & early with Cultivate Her.  Confidence was the subject of the day and I was joined by a great panel of women to help discuss the subject.  I walked away from this morning so encouraged.  I heard so many great comments… so many stories of how this was exactly what they needed to hear… so many reasons to remind me why we need leadership development for women!
• Happy Birthday wishes to my GG Rachel!  Can’t wait to celebrate with you next week!!
• I bought a pair of shoes on clearance
• Took a walk through the Bellevue Campus.  15 days until launch.  Screens and projectors were being installed today.  So exciting to see it taking shape!
• Got some good news that I’m looking forward to announcing soon.
• Went for a long walk.  Got a little crazy and chose “shuffle” on my ipod for my walking tunes.
• Tackled some email and a few work issues
• Discovered that my tomato plant has it’s first baby tomato!

Have a great weekend!

Last Saturday I ran the 1/2 marathon here in Nashville.

I started strong.  I was ready to run.  I had a goal to beat my best time.  I was nervous, excited and goal-minded.

But about half way through the race I hit a wall and couldn’t recover.  I may have started too strong.  It could be because I hadn’t gotten good rest that week.  It may have just been a bad day… but, for whatever reason I wasn’t going to make my goal.

I wasn’t going to “win”.

My definition of winning for that day was meeting the goal I had set for myself.  But I didn’t make that goal… didn’t even come close.

I finished but I didn’t “win” and I felt pretty defeated because of it.

I think this happens a lot in life.

As I was reflecting on a few projects that I’m in the middle of, I wondered why some of them don’t feel like “wins” to me.  I should feel a huge sense of accomplishment when some of these things get done, but what I’ve discovered is that if they took longer than I expected or turned out differently than I planned, I just feel like I’ve finished rather than I’ve won.

There’s a big difference for me between winning and finishing.

When I “win” I feel:

• accomplished
• strong
• competent
• successful
• ready to do more

When I just “finish” I feel:

• tired
• unmotivated
• emotionally spent
• hoping I never have to do that again

Winning vs. finishing is all about perspective.  It’s perspective on how and why I’m doing whatever I’m doing.  If I’m operating in my own strength with little reliance on God, I tend to find myself just “finishing” more often.  But when I recognize I can’t do it on my own… that I need God’s strength for the task ahead… when I trust in His guidance and His power, “wins” are a lot more common.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Do you find yourself “winning” or just “finishing” most days?  Are you trusting in God’s strength or your own?

We did it!

Finished the race just before the storms hit.  Yea!

Here are some random musings and thoughts from the day:

• It was so much fun to have so many friends running the race this year including my beautiful sister!
• I missed Ashley… just not the same running without her.
• I started too fast.  I was so excited about my pace the first several miles, but I totally blew myself out.
• Ignorance is bliss.  I know the course too well after three years of running it.  I psych myself out thinking about the parts of the race I don’t enjoy.  Might be time to try a new 1/2 marathon somewhere else.
• I trained using the Galloway (run/walk) method this year.  Not sure I’m a believer.  I thought that I was pacing faster, but didn’t come close to beating my best time.
• My best 1/2 marathon was my first year (2008).  I think the energy, excitement and unknown carried me through.  I’m getting discouraged that I haven’t improved my time since then.
• I appreciate all the goodies that Publix gives away at the end of the race.
• The Powered by Hope team was amazing.  Wish I had met my fundraising goal, but thrilled that I was able to train with this group and run for New Hope Academy.
• It was awesome to have my dad and my husband there to see me cross the finish line!

Did you run in the Country Music Marathon?  What was the best part of the day for you?

Today’s Friday Fun is just a rundown of my week and my random thoughts… enjoy!

• I started my week off by joining the Faith Promise team for their staff retreat.  I had a blast with these guys.  Such a great team!
• In my musings this week I’ve determined that I’m not really a blogger… I’m a leader who happens to blog.  I wish I was a better blogger.  Got any tips for me?
• I’m convinced that local honey works for allergies.  I went two days without eating any and my allergies blew up!
• ONE WEEK until April’s Cultivate Her event! I announced our panel speakers who will be talking about the subject of confidence.  So excited!  Have you RSVP’d?
• My dad and his girlfriend are coming into town this weekend.  Dad and Merlyn are doing some golfing, the girls will do some shopping and they’ll all be able to watch Jes and I cross the finish line for the Country Music 1/2 Marathon!
• Speaking of the 1/2 Marathon… really praying it’s not a tornado infested, violent hail storm like they’re predicting tomorrow morning.
• Cleaning the house… always cleaning the house
• Really wish I had been able to go to Catalyst West this week… enjoyed all the tweets about it!
• Planning to post some updates about Faith, Hope & Love and the Bellevue Campus tomorrow – so exciting!

How’s your weekend shaping up?  Make sure you enjoy it!

I believe that if a woman’s heart belongs entirely to God and she doesn’t long for children, she is probably called to childlessness in order to pursue other purposes for God. Beth Moore

A friend sent this quote to me the other day and I have not been able to get it out of my mind since.  I’ve shared before how I don’t feel called to have kids, however I haven’t shared the tremendous amount of disapproval I’ve gotten and/or felt from others because of this choice.

I’ve been told things like:

“You can not really know and experience God’s love until you’re a parent.”

“Parenting is the highest calling.”

Really?

While I don’t think people’s intentions when they said those things were malicious, they left me feeling inferior and incomplete.

Can others really make that judgment call about my life and what God has called me to?

What if that’s not God’s plan for me?

I think that we find ourselves so bound by societal norms that we can’t imagine different being ok.

We do the same thing (sometimes worse) to those that are single.  Our culture suggests that you haven’t arrived until you’ve walked down the aisle.  Somehow you’re incomplete.

Whether by choice or by circumstances beyond our control, singleness and childlessness are not wrong.  Different, but not wrong.

Be careful what you impose on others.  You never know what God has called them to.

** To my family – this post is not directed to you.  You have all graciously supported our decision and we are so grateful.

It’s Friday!  My “fun” day.

I’m thrilled to be home today with few scheduled obligations.  It’s been a very busy week and I have another busy week ahead, so today will be a day of catching up and planning ahead.

• We just got back last night from The Uprising Conference at Quest Community Church.  I was super impressed by the generosity and hospitality of the Quest staff and volunteers.  More on that experience to come in a later post.
• One week until I run the 2010 Country Music 1/2 Marathon.  I think I’m ready!  I’m raising money this year for a great cause. Will you consider sponsoring me?
• I’m prepping for a couple of break-out sessions that I’m leading for Faith Promise Church‘s staff retreat.  I’m so honored to be able to serve their team in this way.  The leadership of Faith Promise are absolutely amazing.  You should get to know these two guys in particular.
• I’m begging my husband to take me to Chuy’s for dinner tonight… still haven’t been
• Oh, and have you seen my garden?  Yes, this is a working girl’s, suburban-style garden, but my tomato plants already have some blossoms!!

And here’s a totally random musing for my Friday fun!

****************************************

Growing up I couldn’t wait to get home and have a snack.  I’ve always liked to eat.  Remember my motto, “I run for treats”.

We were latch-key kids most of our growing up years so I remember hurrying home and scouring the cupboards for a snack.  It was rarely healthy and more often just strange, but nevertheless I NEEDED a snack when I got home.

Funny thing is, I still do that to this day!  Whenever I come home I go straight to the pantry.  It could be granola, it could be dry cereal, it could be some chips.  It’s usually something crunchy… and I eat it straight out of the box (GASP!).

Yes, this is my little indulgence from childhood that has stuck with me.  I suspect it will never go away.

How about you?  Do you have a childhood habit that you’ve carried with you into adulthood?

Today rather than run my usual five mile route, I opted to slow it down to a walk and purposefully take in the beauty of the day.

I’ve run this route through my neighborhood several times a week for over five years.  I thought I knew it backwards and forwards, until today…

Today I walked and I made a point of looking up.

Most days when I run this route, I have my head down.  I’m focused on the pavement in front of me.  My sights are set on finishing, not on taking in everything around me.

Today I saw birds soaring through the air.

Today I saw the beautiful buds of the trees in various shades of green on the hillsides all around me.

Today I saw people I’ve never seen before and I paused to engage in conversation with neighbors I usually fly jog past.

Today I smelled the amazing scent of the lilacs in bloom (one of my all-time favorite flowers).

Today I heard the birds chirping and singing.

Today my usual corner of the world was completely fresh and new.

But isn’t that how we handle much of life? We find our heads down.  We’re buried in the details of the task ahead of us.  We’re focused on the finish and we’re missing so much in between.

Sometimes you just have to look up.

It turns out I know the pavement backwards and forwards, but there was a whole new dimension of life I was missing.

What are you buried in?  What would happen if you looked up?

Call me Frugal McDougal but I love completely using something until it is gone… and I mean E.V.E.R.Y. drop.  Whether it be the tiny sliver of a soap bar left, the smidge of toothpaste still in the end of the tube or THIS:

Note the soap dispenser on the left: There is clearly enough soap in there to wash your hands for DAYS yet!

Note the new soap dispenser on the right: This puppy magically appeared from under the cabinet where it was properly tucked away until every once of soap dispenser on the left was gone.

Somehow the new soap dispenser arrived on the scene and is being used daily by the other half of the Catron house.  He lives with an attitude of plenty.  His philosophy: Why deal with the frustration of trying to get the last bit of soap out of the old dispenser when there is a perfectly good, new one full of soap just waiting to be used?

So while he’s enjoying the plenty, Frugal McDougal here is scraping the bottom of the old dispenser.  I just can’t bring myself to move on.

So tell me, are you a FRUGAL or a PLENTY?

In case you’ve missed them, other Catron House Wars:

Grocery Shopping

Grocery Shopping – The Rebuttal

Valentine’s Day

Temperature Troubles

Cover Stealer

I’ve never liked April Fools Day much.  I’m a little a lot too serious to find the humor in the practical jokes and antics that others seem to enjoy on this day.

There really are two types of people when it comes to April Fools Day:

1. The pranksters who concoct the craziest of antics to make another look the fool
2. The fools who fall for this stuff

Perhaps my disdain for the day has mostly to do with the fact that I fall in category 2 – the fools.

I might find the day much more enjoyable if I crossed over to the other side.

So beware my friends.  You might see a completely different side of me today!

Which camp do you fall into?  The fooler or the fooled?