I remember very vividly the first time I served under a floundering leader.  I was a pompous 20-something that was actively reading everything by John Maxwell that I could get my hands on, so I thought I had leadership all figured out (in spite of the fact that I really wasn’t leading anything.)

My arrogance and attitude of superiority caused me to think things like:

“I could do this so much better than them.”

“Don’t they understand how frustrated everyone is?”

“Why aren’t they doing anything?”

I learned a lot about leadership during that season.  I really did.

Since I’ve now experienced my own seasons of floundering, I have so much more compassion and grace for that leader.

If you’re following a floundering leader, here are a few things I would caution you to consider:

• You have no idea what that leader is facing. You may think you do, but I guarantee that you don’t.  Give them grace.  They need it.
• Pray, watch, observe and journal what you see. Don’t talk to others about it – that just turns into backbiting and gossip.  Study what that leader is doing and how they are doing it and make some notes that you’ll want to read when you find yourself floundering sometime down the road.  (Because if you are leading, you WILL flounder at some point.)
• Engage that leader in conversation. Don’t give them an earful of everything you think they are doing wrong – they probably know everything you’ll tell them.  Tell that leader that you are praying for them.  Ask if there is anything that you can do to help them or support them.

If you’re the flounder-er, here’s my advice to you:

• Don’t deny it. Floundering is one of the seasons and passages of leadership.  Don’t try to convince yourself it’s not happening.
• Humble yourself. Everyone knows and sees that you’re floundering, no matter how hard you’re trying to cover it up.
• Be honest with your team and find ways that they can help you pick up some of the things that are weighing you down.  I bet they would be honored to help you.
• Talk openly with whomever you are accountable to. You need to set some purposeful time to share with them what has you floundering and work together to create a plan to pull you out of this season.  It’s detrimental to everyone, especially yourself, to stay in this space.

Have you ever observed a flounder-er or found yourself floundering?  What did you observe?

I did it again.

One of my greatest repeated leadership failures.

I failed to L I S T E N.

Oh, I hear words.  I read emails.  I have conversations.

But sometimes I just don’t listen.

I don’t pick up on attitude.

I don’t read eyes.

I don’t notice lack of enthusiasm.

I don’t observe signs of stress.

Oftentimes in my haste, I miss the subtleties that are really the mark of good listening.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

James 1:19

And if I’m not listening, I really can’t lead.

If I’m not listening, I’m not aware of what the team needs.

If I’m not listening, I race to task and solutions and miss feelings and emotions.

If I’m not listening, I convey that I don’t value what the team is telling me (however silently they might be saying it.)

The first duty of love is to listen. Paul Tillich

How well are you listening to your team?

Ever been in a season of life that you just don’t like?

Maybe it’s a new job that isn’t what you expected?

Maybe it’s a season in your child’s life (like the terrible 2’s) that you wonder if you both are going to live through?

Maybe it’s being single or single again?

Maybe it’s a relationship with a family member or friend that for as much as you try to get it right, it’s just all wrong?

Ever been in one of those seasons where you’ve been trying so hard for so long that you just want to quit?

Walk away.

Give up.

I’ve had my share.

There have been seasons of my life when it has taken everything in me to push through and stick with it.

I didn’t want to.  I really didn’t want to.

I’ve literally begged God to fix the situation.  To let me give up.  To release me from the frustration and the pain.  Usually he doesn’t let me, and I find myself reflecting on this verse:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

⁷To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Although my circumstances may be different from Paul’s.  They say that Paul’s affliction may have been physical.  Maybe for you it is.  Maybe it’s metaphorical.  But either way, I think the thing that most captures my attention when I read these verses is this part:

⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I think sometimes God allows us to live in the discomfort of a season or circumstance because He is up to greater work than we can see.  It’s for His glory, not ours.  It’s for His power and strength to be seen… even if it’s just for us to see.

In a world that encourages us to:

…seek comfort

…find the easy way

…play to your strengths

…live your best life, etc.

I think we find ourselves very restless with the thorns.  We think we deserve better and so we whine and cry and blame instead of trying to find a way for God’s power to be made perfect in our weakness.

I love this next part of verse 9, Paul says:

“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Did you catch that?

“So that Christ’s power may rest on me.” There’s something very comforting about the idea of God’s power RESTING on me.

In the midst of your thorn, there is comfort if you’ll allow God’s power to be made known through your weakness.

How can you allow God’s power to be seen through your thorn?

My life feels very frantic right now.  I can’t really catch my breath and I’m constantly feeling edgy.

Ever been in one of those seasons?

I don’t like the feeling and I don’t like myself.

So, today while I was walking I found myself praying, “God, what’s the deal?  Why am I so restless, stressed, frantic and irritated?  What do I need to do?”

And just as that word “do” came out of my mouth, I felt God kind of stop me in my tracks and say:

“You don’t need to do, you need to be.”

“Be?  Be what?  How do I be?”

I don’t know how to be.

Be still.

Be calm.

Be quiet.

Be prayerful.

Be listening.

Be thoughtful.

To be means simply to “exist or live”.

In all my frantic-ness, I’ve forgotten how to simply live.

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God.

John Ortberg says in The Me I Want to Be

My main job is to remain connected to God.  When my primary focus is being present with him, everything else has a way of falling into place.

That’s what I want to be.

I just can’t figure out how to do it.

How about you?

I’m kind of a geek for self-discovery.  I love uncovering the layers of who God has created me to be.  I love deciphering what is authentically me and what has been shaped by my life experiences.

I love personality profiles, self-help quizzes, spiritual gifts tests and just about anything that helps me “make a careful exploration of who I am” (from my favorite verse Galatians 6:4-5).

So that’s why I’m thoroughly enjoying my newest treasure:

Unwritten Travels is a fun little book co-written by my friend Jenny Black and her friend Jenny Watson.

“The Jennys” take you on a whimsical journey of self-discovery that is fun, insightful, thought-provoking and inspiring.  I know you’ll enjoy it too.  You can check out their website Unwritten Travels and/or order Unwritten Travels here.

What’s your favorite self-discovery resource?

I was 20 years old.  The world seemed big and bright to this wide-eyed small town girl from Northern Wisconsin.  I had already spent two years 1000 miles away from home beginning my education and now was taking one of the greatest risks yet.  I was loading up my 1992 4-door burgundy Saturn named “Alice” and we were moving to music city.  I had landed my dream job… or more accurately my dream opportunity – the chance to work for FREE for the company I had dreamed of working for since I was 13 years old.

That season of my life is remarkably vivid even 14 years later.  I was interning at the company I dreamed of working for.  I was living in the city that I’d always wanted to move to.  I was working two part-time jobs to make my rent payment.  I was dirt poor… and totally happy!

I fondly refer to those days as my “peanut butter days”.  Peanut butter days because, seriously that’s all I lived on!  I would literally walk into the grocery store with a budget of $20, buy a big jar of peanut butter, a loaf of bread, and a few other essentials like soap and toothpaste and live off of that for a week or so.

But in spite of my limited resources, I saw God’s provision, His favor and His blessing all over my life. It was one of the most exciting seasons of my life and also one of the most stretching.

You’ve probably experienced peanut butter days too…

… Maybe it was when you went off to college and lived off of Ramen Noodles because all your money went into tuition and books

… Maybe it was when you were newly married, sharing one car without AC, but giddy in love

… Maybe it was when you decided to start a family and to live off of one income, complete with coupon clipping and strategic meal planning

I would venture to guess that most of us have experienced “peanut butter days”.   We not only experience peanut butter days in our personal lives, but organizations also have their share of peanut butter days.  And although we all would rather avoid these days (or seasons), I think peanut butter days can be important for you and your team to lead and learn through.

Peanut Butter Days:

1. Remind us of God’s provision. We’re much more tuned into the little blessings.  Perhaps someone gives you a gift card, an unexpected check in the mail, etc.  It means more when you need it most.
2. Breed creativity. Limited resources draw out unique ideas and new ways of accomplishing goals.
3. Keep us focused on what’s most important. You don’t take for granted the things that really matter like friendships, family and what God is growing in you.
4. Can unify and unite a family or a team if we choose to lean into one another.

Don’t be afraid of the peanut butter days.  Embrace them.  Lead through them.  Learn from them.

They are a greater gift than you may even know.

What’s your “peanut butter days” story?

Justin Davis continued our “Be Rich” series today.  Such an important discussion that we’re often too afraid of to engage honestly, especially in church.  I appreciate Justin’s transparency today.  Be challenged but be encouraged!

Leftovers by Justin Davis

There is no correlation between money and peace.

What is the best financial advice you’ve ever received and did you take it?

Those of you that are rich will always have something competing for your heart.

If you don’t view yourself as rich, you won’t take Jesus’ principles to heart.

I Timothy 6:17-19

Be rich in good deeds and be generous and willing to share.

The greatest barrier to doing good is margin.  We have to intentionally create the space in our lives to live generously.

We are rich in time and money, but we aren’t always purposeful with them.

Create margin in your time.

• We equate busyness with significance.
• We’re rich in activities, meetings, appointments, etc
• You can be rich in busyness and bankrupt in good deeds.

Create margin in your finances.

• We equate possessions with wealth.
• You can be reach in possessions and bankrupt in generosity.

You will have to choose this.  You will have to be intentional about this.

Rich people plan ahead.

If you don’t plan ahead, you will be giving God and others the leftovers.

If you don’t plan ahead to give God your time and your money, you will be giving him leftovers.

Rich people purposely give away their time and money.

1. Pre-decide to give your time in service.
2. Pre-decide to be a percentage giver.

Rich people don’t operate in the urgent, they operate in the important.

How you treat money reflects the priorities of your life.

Determine to trust God with your time and money.

When you give God and others the best, God somehow allows the leftovers to be satisfying and sufficient.

Are you being purposeful with your time and money or are you giving God and others the leftovers?

Meet Ernie.

Or as he’s come to be known this year “FHL Ernie” – short for “Faith, Hope & Love Ernie”.

Ernie’s been a part of the family for almost 11 years.  We’ve logged just over 236,000 miles now.  We’ve replaced nearly everything but the engine and a few non-essentials like the windshield wiper fluid squirter-thingy – if I hit a mud puddle things get kind of interesting, and the radio antennae that no longer goes up and down – just makes a whining noise every time you turn the car on.

But for 11 years and 236,000 miles, Ernie’s been a good car.  Sadly I almost gave Ernie up last year.  We had decided we were ready to move on and were saving for a new fancy car.  That’s when things took an interesting turn.  Cross Point launched our “Faith, Hope & Love” initiative to raise over $2 million dollars for the launch of our Bellevue Campus and the opening of our Hope Centers.  As we prayed about what we could give, I began to wrestle with the fact that I didn’t need a new car.  While Ernie’s kind of a gamble every day I drive it, it still runs.  It still gets me where I need to go every day.  I needed to postpone a “want” in order to give more generously to a “need” – a need to create environments (and open seats) where people can be reached with the hope of Christ.

Our “Be Rich” series has been an important reminder to me of how quickly my perspective gets skewed.  A year ago I was begging my husband for a new car.  I was mad and borderline resentful that I was still driving beat up old Ernie.  Today I’m grateful for every day that Ernie still runs.  With every day and every month that passes, I know I’ve used my resources to support a need so much greater than my own.

Let me assure you though, most days my perspective is way off.  I forget that I’m truly rich – that God has blessed me tremendously; that compared to the majority of the world I have more than I’ll ever need… and then some.  I hate that I lose site of that.  I hate the feelings of entitlement that I wrestle with on nearly a daily basis.  I hate the comparison game that I constantly play.

I want to learn to be generous, to be grateful – to be rich!

How about you?

Is there an area of your life that you take for granted God’s blessing and abundance?

I’ve been reading through I Corinthians lately and this morning I stumbled upon the “love” chapter.  I started to quickly skim through it since I can recite this chapter with little effort.  I’m sure my good Christian school education made me memorize this chapter one February long, long ago.

But as I began to patronizingly read it, I started to slow down.

I know what scripture says love is, but just knowing doesn’t mean I’m doing it. Just knowing it hasn’t automatically turned me into the greatest lover, so I felt convicted that I needed to take a minute and camp out here.

I started writing out in my journal the phrases describing what love is and I tried to rate myself on how well I display that characteristic of love from 1-10.  1 being very poor.  10 being I totally love like Christ would.

So, let me challenge you to do the same.  Take the following phrases and rate yourself.  Even better, ask someone you love and trust to rate you too.  Perhaps God will reveal a little more about your heart and take you on a journey to loving more deeply than you ever have before.  I’m praying that’s what it does for me… and for you too!

Love…

• is patient
• is kind
• does not envy
• does not boast
• is not proud
• is not rude
• is not self-seeking
• is not easily angered
• keeps no record of wrongs
• does not delight in evil
• rejoices with the truth
• always protects
• always trusts
• always hopes
• always perseveres
• never fails

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls. Mother Teresa

Every couple of weeks I find myself growing silent.  Not by choice… I guess by necessity.

I can sense my need for silence in the absence of something to say.  You can measure it in my lack of tweets and forced or non-existent blog posts.  I feel it in my impatience with people and lack of desire to chit-chat.

Perhaps it is exhaustion.

Perhaps it is just the rhythm and pattern of my life.

Perhaps it is God calling me to silence.

But all I know is it’s becoming predictable and I’m recognizing how much I need it.  I’m learning not to fight it, but to embrace it.

There have been times I’ve felt guilty for longing for silence.  I’ve felt compelled to stay among the noise.  I’ve felt responsible to stay engaged.

But if what Mother Teresa says is true – that God cannot be found in the noise and restlessness, and that we need silence to be able to touch souls – I’m ready to embrace the silence.

How about you?  Do you have trouble going quiet?