There is an art to communication.

Great communicators inspire us to be better, motivate us to act and encourage us to dream.

In all of my efforts through the years to grow as a leader, I under-valued the importance of growing as a communicator until recently.  Because my job doesn’t require speaking to masses of people each week, I simply underestimated the importance.

The truth is that great leaders need to be great communicators.  Whether speaking to a team of three or an arena of 10,000, good communication skills are necessary for leading people well.

I recently got a copy of Tim Elmore’s new book Habitudes for Communicators and I love it!

Communication is a lost art and we need to resurrect it.

Look around you. In our culture, we often fail at the fundamentals. Having a conversation without an electronic device involved. Writing a thank-you letter. Listening in earnest to a friend in need. Our human exchanges lead us to learn, transform, revolutionize, innovate, connect and love.

Like the other Habitudes books, this book is filled with images that represent timeless principles, to be read, discussed and applied on a team. The images in this book revolve around engaging and communicating with the next generation. You’ll learn how to communicate effectively through images like Windows and Mirrors, #3 Pencil, House of Fire, the Faded Flag, School Yearbook and more.

I encourage you to get a few copies and study this together with your team!

Get all the details here!

Remember the good ole days of adolescents when if you felt like you just couldn’t face the world you declared a “sick day”?  Maybe it was the test you failed to prepare for or the ex you just couldn’t bear to face… whatever the issue you, suckered your parents into believing your weren’t well and sufficiently enjoyed a day of relaxation and reprieve from the ordinary.

Ok yeah, you know me well enough to know that there is no way my neurotic achievement issues would have allowed me to avoid responsibility like that!  But man, I wish I had taken advantage of that opportunity back then.

Leaders don’t get to take a “sick day”.

You can’t just call it quits when you’re facing things you don’t like.  You can’t choose to not lead just because you don’t feel like it.

So how do you deal with the days when you want to go hide in a corner rather than answer another question? 

How do you keep from throwing a tantrum when someone expects you to solve another problem?

While you can’t just call it quits for an entire day, I do think you can take a time out.

When you feel yourself pushed to the edge and unable to handle the daily pressures of leadership, it’s ok to revisit your schedule and create a time out.

• Perhaps you need to squeeze in a little more time for prayer and reflection
• Maybe you need to carve out 30 minutes to read or go for a good walk
• Maybe you can post-pone a meeting that isn’t urgent or you’re not completely ready for

The biggest difference between sick days and time outs is that sick days are a “throw in the towel mindset”.  You’re giving up and behaving as if you’re defeated.  Time outs are a healthy recognition that you’re running on fumes and need a strategic break.  Time outs are a way of reclaiming control and being responsible for your part.

Do you need a time out today?  If so, create it.   Don’t succumb to the sick day!

By title I am the rule maker and the rule keeper.  It’s kind of a given as the Executive Director of an organization.

But guess what?

I hate rules, policies & most procedures. 

Most of the time they are a necessary evil.  On a few occasions they are necessary.  On most occasions they’re evil.

Why do I hate them? 

Rules, policies & most procedures are the easy way out.  They’re a scapegoat for true leadership.

Policies are usually a reactionary fix to an issue you’d rather avoid.  Oftentimes we create a policy when we want to avoid a tough conversation.  Rather than address the specific person and the issue, we create a policy to hide behind.

However there are occasions where some parameters need to be established.  I like to call these filters.

Here’s how I define the difference:

Policies are blankets. They don’t account for nuances or growth.  They leave little room for conversation or flexibility.

Filters are “if this, than that” parameters that lead to sound decision making based upon values or agreed upon standards.  Filters also increase accountability because they force discussion.

At Cross Point we’ve created filters for things like:

• Continued education and development.  Staff are encouraged to find ways to continue their personal development via books, conferences, etc.  They are given a few guidelines and budgets, but each staff person and their manager determine the best course of learning for them each year.
• Sunday staff schedules.  Based upon their role and responsibility we determine their work schedule for Sunday.  Some staff have greater responsibilities than others for Sunday services and we adjust their work week to make the best use of their time and contribution.

Before you implement policies, consider:

• Is this a black and white issue that will not require any exceptions?
• Is this policy likely to be broken often because, while it controls a bad thing, it inhibits another good thing?
• Am I creating a policy because it will keep me from having tough conversations?

When policies are necessary:

• When the policy is necessary to be compliant with a power higher than you, i.e. the law.  Implement policy when it’s necessary to make sure your team understands and is compliant with the law.  For example we have policies for expense report filing, “duty to report” circumstances and safety.
• When you face a repeated issue that doesn’t have many variables.   We have a vacation policy so that we are consistent with each staff member and accountable to those who fund our salaries through their giving.

How are you managing the tension of policies vs. filters?  It’s another tedious grey leadership issue!

I’ve developed a new fascination…

Rare books, preferably first editions of some of my favorites like Anne of Green Gables.

(Btw, I can’t actually afford these books… I just like to search for them and imagine a library in my home full of them.)

Reading didn’t come easily for me as a child.  My memories of 1st grade reading class are painful, but I was so hungry to learn that I worked and worked until I finally figured out how it all fit together.  Once I tackled it, I wouldn’t put a book down.  (I still get in trouble from time to time for having my nose in a book rather than my heart in a conversation.)

I think part of my stubbornness to learn to read was rooted in my independent nature.  I didn’t want anyone else to tell me what I needed to learn.  I wanted to read it and learn it for myself.

While that attitude has served me well in some ways, it’s also hindered me in others.

You see, we need to learn from others.

One of the most valuable things I’m learning in this season of life is to constantly surround myself with people who are smarter than I am.  And yes, that’s a little scary at times.  The willingness to acknowledge that you don’t know it all or can’t figure it all out on your own is a big sucker punch to your pride.  Pride challenges you to cover up your ignorance.  It teaches you to bluff your way through things you know nothing about.

But when you give into pride, you allow yourself to live in ignorance.  Pride holds you back and inhibits you from vulnerably acknowledging you don’t know something.

Surround yourself with people smarter than you.

When you are facing a project or challenge that is new or unknown, find others who are more experienced to coach you through it.

Don’t be afraid of acknowledging that you don’t know.  In doing so, you actually prove that you know more than you think.

Probably one of the greatest challenges for young leaders is finding your leadership voice.

We mimic.

We compare.

We try and fail.  We try again.

We have moments of success and moments of failure (perceived and sometimes real).

Our inconsistency in leading is nauseating for us and those we lead.

While some elements of leadership come naturally, I believe that most of leadership is learned over time and as we glean wisdom.  You can’t microwave the wisdom that comes from experience.

Here are three kinds of leaders I consistently see:

The Timid Leader – The timid leader has strong leadership potential but is so worried about making sure everyone likes their plan/vision/idea that they are wishy-washy with direction.  They react to the emotional responses of people therefore making them inconsistent and hard to follow.

The Dominant Leader – The dominant leader dictates everything & expects everyone to follow.  Their insecurity is masked by their need to prove they know it all.  The result is resentment from those they lead.

The Confident Leader – The confident leader leads with positivity & decisiveness.  They are confident in their calling but humble in their approach.  They are not afraid to do what’s right even when it’s not popular.  They don’t react to emotional responses from those they lead.  Instead, they lead people through them with grace and patience.

What kind of leader are you?

What other types of leaders have you observed?

On the couple of trips I made to Honduras last year, one of the landmarks that got my attention was a wind farm just south of the great city of Tegucigalpa.  51 wind turbines tower above the hilly landscape providing a significant energy source for the country.

Juxtaposed against their primitive and poverty-stricken surroundings, the wind turbines give the feeling of strength, confidence, hope and progress.

Call me crazy for seeing that in inanimate objects but believe me, they really do!

And as if you weren’t waiting for my analogy … leaders are wind turbines too.

Leaders are energy creators.

We get out of our team the energy we give to them.  We have to create the energy that we want our team to exude.

We can’t react to the energy (or lack of it) from others.  We have to create the energy that we want our team to work from.

So how are you creating energy?  Are you creating it or reacting to it?

There are a lot of special people in my life.  People who I want to champion, encourage, coach, mentor and just all around support.

But every once in awhile I realize I am not enough.  I can’t be all of the things they need all of the time.  There will be moments that they need someone and I can’t be there or don’t even know how to be there.  There will be some things that I just can’t be for them.

I’m not talking about being their savior.  I know I’m not that.  I’m talking about the times where someone else told them exactly what they needed to hear… or someone else listened well and didn’t judge… someone else could understand their hurt, frustration or celebration better than I could.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t have a voice or a place in their life.  It just means that I need to understand my role and play that well in the lives of the people around me.  I won’t be able to be there for everything.  I won’t always be the right person for every moment or situation.

But more importantly, I need to recognize what role I do play and I need to be there to play that role.  I can’t miss my moments.

And you can’t miss yours…

There are people in your life who need you. 

They need you for the role that only you can play in their life.  They need you to be sensitive and aware of the voice you have and not push yourself into places that you need to let others be.  They need you to be confident.  They need you to be assuring.  They need you to bring the wisdom that only you can bring from your unique experience.  You are in the lives of others for a reason.

Who has God uniquely given you influence with?  Who needs your unique perspective and voice in their life?

You will never be enough for every moment of their life but you are exactly enough when you play the role  you are positioned to play.

“So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” I Kings 3:9 (NIV)

Solomon’s prayer for wisdom.

He prayed for:

1) A discerning heart

2) Ability to distinguish between right and wrong

Leaders, lets make that our prayer today!

Are you an influencer?

Are you a manager?

Or are you a leader?

Leadership has become a very muddied word.  We interchange leader for a lot of different things and the confusion I see most commonly is between these three words:

Influencer, Manager & Leader.

We tend to use them interchangeably, but I don’t believe they are completely interchangeable.  Follow this train of thought…

A manager can be a leader.

An influencer can be a leader.

But a manager is not always a leader.

And an influencer is not always a leader.

Influencers are encouragers.   They make people feel inspired.  Influencers are usually popular and well-liked.

Managers keep people on task.  They make the tough decisions.  Managers are rarely popular or well-liked.

Both influencers and managers lead people to action for different reasons.

If you are just one or the other, you are not a leader.  A leader understands the combination of both and has the discernment to know when he needs to lean to one side or the other.  A leader is comfortable not always being popular but a leader also knows he won’t move people for long if he’s always making unpopular decisions.  True leaders lead because they know it is what is best for everyone even if everyone doesn’t like it all the time.  That’s the leadership distinctive.

Ok, share with us what you think…

Last week one day I had the pleasure of sitting down with another young female leader.  I love these conversations because I usually discover another kindred spirit.  With a fellow female leader I’m rarely short on words… just short on time.

About mid-way through our conversation she asked me a very troubling question:

“As a leader with all you have to do to lead others, how do you make time for your own personal spiritual growth?”

Her question brought to mind this quote I had recently read in Beth Moore‘s Paul: 90 Days on His Journey of Faith

“If we’re leading but we’re not closely following Christ, we are misleading.”

Misleading.

Do you know how the dictionary defines misleading?

Deceptive!

Leaders, that’s a huge responsibility!

It’s easy for our spiritual walk to become a part of our “work”.  How often do you sit down to read or study God’s word for simply the purpose of hearing from him?  Not for a sermon.  Not for a blog post.  Not for a book concept.  Not for a twitter quote.

I only ask because I’m incredibly guilty of that myself.

Our spiritual health is essential for us to lead as God has called us to.

Will you join me this week in reading and studying God’s Word just to hear from Him, with no other agenda?