Be wholeheartedly somewhere rather than halfheartedly everywhere.

I feel extraordinarily fragmented right now.

• I live between two houses.  One of is for sale and the other I’m remodeling to move into.

• I don’t have an office so I office in many different places but none of them feel like “my space”.

• And on Sundays I bounce between 5 different campuses.

I’m usually ok with juggling a lot of different things.  I’m not overly sentimental so I don’t get too bound by tradition, however having so many areas of my life disjointed is causing me to lose focus.

Sometimes I’m just not sure where I “should” be since there are so many places I “could” be.

I realize that feeling so halfheartedly a part of many things is making me less effective.

As leaders, the natural progression is to lead and manage more and more.  But I think we have to always be careful to narrow our focus and wholeheartedly commit to the things that need us most.

So my Sunday Lesson this week was to commit to being “wholeheartedly somewhere rather than halfheartedly everywhere.”

Have you ever felt this way?  How did you realign your focus?

Every once in awhile,

especially in busy seasons of life or ministry,

I hit the wall.

Know what I’m talking about?

I know I’ve hit the wall when:

• I’ve reached my compliant quota.  When one more complaint, question or criticism will put me over the edge.
• Questions become personal attacks.  A simple question for clarity feels like a personal attack on my judgment or character.
• The idea of being with people stresses me out.

I don’t think it’s unusual for leaders to hit the wall.  Leadership is relational.  Leaders are required to speak into many decisions, problems, concerns, etc.  In fact typically leaders deal with the toughest, most emotionally challenging issues within the organization.

But as leaders we have to be aware of when we’re about to hit this wall and we have to take steps to put on the brakes before we crash into it.

When I see the wall closing in on me, I need to:

1) Evaluate my emotional and spiritual health.  Great leaders are healthy leaders.  Don’t convince yourself your superman/woman.  Take time for rest and rejuvenation.  And most importantly take time with God.

2) Rework my schedule.  Where have I over-committed?  What can I change, move or cancel?  What can I delegate to someone else?  Everything on my schedule becomes open for discussion.

3) Stop.  Literally stop for time enough to think.  When the wall is closing in on me and I’m running at a break-neck speed, I can’t think clearly enough to make good decisions.  Make a pit stop and regroup your thoughts.  Fresh perspective often comes with a strategic pause.

4) Seek counsel.  Who knows you well enough to speak truthfully about your strengths and weaknesses, priorities and dysfunctions as a leader?  You need to invite their voice into your current season.  They just might be the emergency brake that saves you from a crash.

How do you buffer yourself from hitting the wall?

Leaders live in tension.

Constant tension.

I call it the shades of grey.

A tension that is very real for me is the tension of planning for the future and being present in the today.

As leaders we’re wired to look ahead, to dream, to plan, to strategize, but oftentimes all of our dreaming and scheming causes us to miss the important moments of right now.

We…

• find ourselves thinking through a project instead of hearing about our spouse’s day
• miss the opportunity to celebrate a success because we’re planning our next victory
• are afraid we’ll miss some big news so we consume our time digesting content on all of our devices but miss a special moment in a friend’s life

You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

I’m sure you can easily add to that list.

So how do you be present?

I love that this year “Be Present” is the theme for Catalyst Atlanta.  I don’t have to remind you that this is one of my favorite leadership learning environments and so the fact that they are going to challenge us in this way is exciting… and a little scary.

For more info on Catalyst and how to get tickets, click here.  Early bird registration ends tomorrow!

I don’t know how things are where you serve, but on any given Sunday at Cross Point things go wrong.  GASP!  Yes, it’s true.

In fact, a lot of things can go wrong… maybe not all of them are wrong per se but they certainly don’t always go the way we’ve planned.

It could be the gremlins in technology, it could be human error, it could be volunteers out sick, it could be a faulty alarm clock…

You name it, it’s likely to go wrong on Sunday – the day we need everything to operate perfectly.

Unfortunately I have a tendency to fixate on what’s not working.  I see all the little things that I wish had gone better and I fail to see what is good.

I’ve been feeling really challenged by this lately.

Not just at work/church but in my personal life and relationships.

Our society has taught us to be critics and some of us slip into that role easier than others.

But the constant critic loses hope and lacks joy.

The constant critic finishes the day feeling defeated and unsuccessful.

I’ve been challenged lately to really seek to find what’s good.

In fact, I’ve gotten into a habit of actually making myself write a “what’s good?” list every day.

My “what’s good” list reminds me of how God is at work in my life every single day.  Everything may not have gone the way that I thought it should go, but there are still so many things that are good.

I think this is a “grey” leadership tension that we all face.  We have to be aware of and manage what’s not working, but we can never lose site of what’s good.

So I want to challenge you to write a “what’s good” list today.  If you’re brave enough, share it with us in the comments.

Ok, GO!

I too am one of the millions that has either read the book or watched the newly released movie, The Help.

There are a myriad of reasons that people are captivated by this story, but for me there is one relationship that brings me to tears every time…

It’s the beautiful connection between Aibileen, the house maid, and Mae Mobley the little white girl that she is entrusted to care for.

You is kind.

You is smart.

You is important.

How much do we need to hear those words?

Who was the Aibileen in you life?

Who was the person who looked you deep in the eyes and affirmed all the God-given wonderful things about you?

I hope you had an Aibileen.

And even more I hope you are an Aibileen for someone else.

As leaders, it’s your job to help people believe in themselves.  They need you to look them deep in the eyes and remind them that:

You is kind.

You is smart.

You is important.

They need you every day.  They need your reassurance.  They need your belief more than anything else you can give them.

Who will you be an Aibileen to?

After two amazing days in Chicago at the Global Leadership Summit I came racing back to a very full and exciting weekend here at Cross Point.

Not only was Pete back from his study break but we kicked off our new series “Together We Will.”

As is usual fashion for us in August, we spend a few weeks talking about the vision of Cross Point.

I remember a group of about 30 of us sitting in a circle on the patio of one of our founding leader’s homes hearing Pete cast this vision for the very first time.

I’ve heard it repeatedly since that summer evening 9 years ago and it never gets old.

A compelling, God-given vision never gets old.

Wherever you lead whether it’s…

• a church
• an organization
• your home
• a business
• a small group
• your family

… don’t forget the power of retelling the vision that God has put in your heart.

God’s dreams, God’s purpose, God’s plans don’t get old. 

Sometimes we just get bored.

As Pete shared a nine year-old vision with over 4,000 people yesterday, it was as compelling (if not more) than when he shared it with 30 of us for the very first time.

It never gets old.

Live it.

Breathe it.

Share it.

What vision has God put on your heart that you’ve become a little bored with?  It’s time to rekindle and refresh the plans and purpose He has for you!

Erwin McManus

Activist; Filmmaker; Innovator and Cultural Architect
Mosaic
Los Angeles, California

He leads a complex, multi-campus church, yet convention, programs, and structures repel him. Erwin McManus remains unencumbered by the human creations that can crowd out the essence of the Spirit’s work in the world. “Don’t do evangelism,” he says. “Live Christ.” McManus purposefully immerses himself in the culture around him—the fashion and entertainment industry of Los Angeles. It’s been as normative for him to start a clothing line and produce a hit Super Bowl commercial as it has been for him to teach at Mosaic on Sunday mornings. McManus imparts to his listeners a holistic perspective of ministry that compels integration and action—and leaves “doing church” in the dust.

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My notes from Erwin’s session are over on the Willow Blog.  Go check them out!

Thanks for following along with our notes from the Summit.  I hope you enjoyed the content!

Patrick Lencioni

Founder and President of The Table Group

Patrick Lencioni is the founder and president of The Table Group, a firm dedicated to providing organizations with ideas, products and services that improve teamwork, clarity and employee engagement. Lencioni’s passion for organizations and teams is reflected in his writing, speaking and consulting.

He is the author of several best-selling books with nearly three million copies sold. After nine years in print, his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, continues to be a weekly fixture on national best-seller lists. Named in Fortune magazine as one of the ‘ten new gurus you should know,’ Lencioni and his work have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, USA TODAY, Bloomberg Businessweek, Inc. and Harvard Business Review, to name a few.

When Lencioni is not writing, he consults to CEOs andtheir executive teams, helping them to become more cohesive within the context of their business strategy. The wide-spread appeal of Lencioni’s leadership models have yielded a diverse base of clients, including a mix of Fortune 500 companies, professional sports organizations, the military, non-profits, universities and churches.

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Session Notes:

One of the ways we manifest humility is by being vulnerable.

Definition of Vulnerability:

1. capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2. open to attack or damage

Fears that Prevent us from Being a Naked Leader:

1) Fear of losing the business/fear of rejection

Rejection is something that we’re called to.

Enter the danger.

Speak the kind truth.  Don’t be a victim of terminal niceness.

People are hungry for people who will tell them the kind truth.

The technical term for leaders who don’t like to tell the kind truth is a wuss.

2) Fear of Being Embarrassed

Our job as leaders is to serve others by asking dumb questions.

My job isn’t to look smart but to help others do better.

When people know you’re editing yourself to manage your image, they won’t trust you.

Celebrate our mistakes.

3) Fear of Feeling Inferior

Do the dirty work.

Show people you are willing to do whatever you are asking them to do.

Being vulnerable is attractive.  It breeds trust.

We are called to be vulnerable by the most vulnerable leader of all time.

Which of these three fears to do you wrestle with the most?

John Dickson

Director, Centre for Public Christianity
Sr. Minister, St. Andrews Anglican Church
Sydney, Australia

Are prestigious titles and powerful positions prerequisites for impactful leadership? “You don’t need structural authority to be a leader of influence,” according to historian and social commentator John Dickson. “The leader’s strongest tool is humility,” he says. “It intensifies credibility.” Dickson, the author of Humilitas: A Lost Key to Life, Love, and Leadership (May 2011), investigates the crucial role humility plays in a leader’s life—and its theological, historical, and practical implications. Dickson issues this challenge: Navigate the complex intersection of leadership and humility, and learn to lead through persuasion, example, and influence rather than positional authority. Dickson offers practices to help you cultivate deeper authentic humility on your team—and in your soul.

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I wasn’t able to listen to this entire talk so I didn’t get great notes, however what I heard was really amazing.  Go check out what my other blogging buddies captured:

Tim Schraeder

Justin Wise

Matt Perman

Henry Cloud

Clinical Psychologist, Bestselling Author, Leadership Consultant
Los Angeles, California

One-size-fits-all doesn’t work when it comes to managing the human side of an organization. People come in different personality types, some requiring a specific leadership approach. Who deserves continued investment and who doesn’t? Can you turn someone’s performance around? Here’s the danger: if you don’t know how to deal differently with different kinds of people—especially the difficult ones—they can derail your entire vision. Drawing on the wisdom of 20 years of coaching top business and church leaders, Dr. Cloud presents concepts that can expand your capacity for accurately assessing and managing each person on your team. “These leadership concepts,” says Bill Hybels, “have forever changed the way I lead.”

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Session Notes: The Evil, The Foolish, The Wise

Wherever you are, God has called you to be a steward over a vision for the specific reason of changing something.

Are you going to allow “this guy” to stop your vision?

What do you do with the kind of person who robs you of your joy, keeps you up at night and sometimes has the power to stop an entire mission possibly by non-performance, divisiveness, etc?

Truth – what does a person do when reality comes to them?

When your maturity is not strong enough to change something, add external structure.

When you are kind and responsible, you take feedback, adjust, and get better. You also lead like this.  You expect that everyone else does the same thing with feedback.

You can’t lead everyone the same.  You have to diagnose people and then determine how to lead them.

3 Types of People:

1. Wise
2. Fools
3. Evil

The Wise

• When the light comes to them, that person adjusts themselves to match the light
• When the truth comes to them, they change to adjust to reality
• When you confront them, they thank you

Your challenge to lead a wise person:

• Talk to them
• Make sure they are a match for what they are supposed to lead
• Provide feedback

The Fool

• They may be the brightest, the most gifted (that’s why they’ve gotten as far as they’ve gotten)
• When the light comes, they adjust the light; they try to adjust it
• They try to change the truth
• They shoot the messenger
• They deny reality, minimize, externalize
• They’re unhappy and angry
• They don’t own it; they can’t make themselves part of the problem
• A nice responsible leader has hope that this person will change, but you have to get hopeless

Your strategy to lead a fool:

• Get hopeless
• Stop talking
• Protect the vision
• Set limits; limit your exposure
• Ask why
• Get specific about consequences
• Give them a choice
• Follow through

The Evil

• They have destruction in their heart
• They want to inflict pain

Your strategy to lead the evil:

• Get ready to protect yourself

Don’t let someone’s character problem stop the mission God has called you to!

Is there anyone stalling or stopping your vision?  How will you take a stop towards leading them?