If you are in the second chair, you have not been called to a place of comfort; you have been called to a place of leadership.“

This quote is from one of my all-time favorite books entitled Leading from the Second Chair: Serving Your Church, Fulfilling Your Role, and Realizing Your Dreams (Jossey-Bass Leadership Network Series) by Mike Bonem and Roger Patterson.

Leading at any level is difficult, but being a second chair leader – that leader that isn’t the CEO, Pastor, President, etc, but is the next tier of leadership directly serving these types of first chairs – has it’s own unique set of challenges. In my opinion, most second chair leaders have to balance many of the challenges of strategic planning, future development and business administration details with an awareness and intentionality to relationally leading the staff on a daily basis. The Second Chair is the leader that the team needs feedback, encouragement and direction from on a daily basis.

But, the see-saw of going back and forth from business to staff relations can make any good leader a little dizzy and unfocused.

Because I’m wired to be “task first”, I have to be very intentional to see-saw over to the relational side. The heaviness of the business, management and develop stuff can easily keep me grounded on that side if I let it. Remember when the big kid would get on the see-saw and keep you dangling in the air? Yep, that’s me. I’m the big kid on the business side holding down the see-saw while my staff are dangling in the air on the relational side dieing for a chance to come back down.

Odds are we all lean to one side or the other. Most of us are wired to be “task” or “people” first. Striking a balance between the two and having the discernment to know when to lean into one or the other, is a leadership skill that is developed over time.

Since I lean to the “task” side, I have created a few questions that help me know when and how to see-saw back to relationship.

My relationship questions:

• What does the team need from me today? Encouragement? Direction? A listening ear? Practical help?
• What tasks do I have and how can I take care of them so that I’m energized and able to focus on the team?

If you are naturally a relationship person who needs help see-sawing over to the task side more consistently, here are a few questions you might ask yourself:

• What is one thing I can do today that will help better prepare our organization and staff for the future?
• What is the best time and place for me to work on my leadership tasks and how can I adjust my schedule to create intentional time to work on these priorities?

Here’s the deal, the see-saw will never be perfectly balanced. Remember how hard you tried to scoot up or scoot back on the see-saw to balance the weight so both you and your friend would be floating in mid-air? A lot of work for short reward.

Embrace the see-saw… just remember to not get stuck on one side or the other!

How about you? Which side of the leadership see-saw do you have the potential to get stuck on? Task or Relationship?

Leadership is lonely.

We know that.  We’ve been told that a zillion different ways from a million different leaders.

But, have you ever had one of those days that is beyond just lonely?  One of those days where it feels so dark, like the world is closing in and you want to just walk away?

I call those the dark days of leadership.  The days when the shades of grey are so thick you can’t see hope for the future at all.  The days where you question everything.  The days when your confidence and commitment seem nearly gone.

Lonely days are one thing, but dark days are lethal.

Darkness is suffocating and debilitating and if you allow yourself to live there too long it will destroy your leadership.

I’ve had my share of dark days.  And what I’ve found is that there is a direct correlation between my dark days and my communion with God.  More specifically my lack of communion with God.

My dark days come when…

• I’ve been working from my own strength
• I’ve eliminated solitude and sabbath
• I’ve failed to head the warnings of loved ones and friends
• I’ve neglected quality, consistent time with God

My dark days are a result of my vain efforts to be Wonder Woman.

Are you going to continue this craziness?  For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. Galatians 3:3 The Message

The dark days are the hardest days to stop and get perspective.  I find myself toiling more over the things I’m stressing about and yet frantically getting nowhere.   I love that the Galatians passage calls this “crazy”.  Yep, that’s what it feels like – CRAZY!

Stay with God!  Take heart.  Don’t quit. Psalm 27:14 The Message

How about you?

Do you wrestle with dark days?  How do you stop the craziness?

This is me, somewhere around the age of 4 or 5 in my “fancy dress.”  Truth is… this is nothing more than a nightgown that I somehow determined was my fancy dress.  When I put my fancy dress on I believed it transformed me into this amazing entertainer, wowing the crowds with my vocal prowess… and my gorgeous dress (of course).

This was back in the day when I still dreamed… uninhibited.  I wasn’t insecure, self-conscious or reserved.  It never cross my mind that others would question whether I could achieve my dreams.

Continue reading over at Cultivate Her…

People are going through the torture of being unwanted, rejected… and I think that is the greatest suffering and the greatest poverty today.

Mother Teresa

Today we visited Motherhouse where Mother Teresa lived the majority of her life in Calcutta.  We visited her tomb as well as saw the room where she spent the majority of her days.  Then we visited one of her homes for the destitute and dieing.

Such extreme suffering that was hard to digest in the few moments that we were there.

I wrestle with the extreme depravity that we are experiencing here.  It just doesn’t seem comprehensible that this is every day reality.  I marvel at Mother Teresa’s ability to stay engaged and hopeful for so many years when it seems that there is no end to the suffering all around.

And then I watched this video where she shares her thoughts on the face of poverty.  Poverty of the soul is not quite as obvious, but just as destructive.  And no matter where you live there are people all around you starving.

Do you see them?