Today’s post comes from friend and fellow leader Trisha Davis. Thoughts and insights on leading from the Second Chair.

I am so blessed and excited to be a guest writer on Jenni’s blog today! Jenni and I met 8 years ago when my husband Justin was on staff at the church she attended. We have recently reconnected as my husband took a job at Cross Point Church where Jenni serves as the Executive Director.

One thing that Jenni and I have in common is our passion for leadership. Each time we get together we enjoy deep discussions about how to be better leaders, how to help others be better leaders and what leaders are currently impacting our lives.

So you may be wondering what do I do for a living? What is my title…. Are you ready? Well sorry to disappoint you but I don’t have a title. I have always led from the SECOND CHAIR. Let me further explain. Justin has been a pastor for 13 yrs (you can read our story HERE). I have not only been his #2 leader at certain times in ministry, I have played that role for many other leaders without a title or pay. I have had offers and opportunities but for the past 13 years my primary focus has been being a full-time stay-at-home mom to my three awesome boys and a part-time/full-time leader from the second chair. So I am sure your are asking yourself… “then what does this chick know about leadership?”

Webster’s defines a leader as “Someone who leads.” Leadership is not defined by a title or the number of people you are leading. I have met many people that have big dreams or feel as if they don’t have a big enough dream that are either waiting for a title or a belief in themselves to make those dreams a reality. While they wait, they see others who are less gifted to lead take off in pursuit of their dreams. Often, frustration and defeat sets in and the once big dream has now turned into bitterness and resentment. While I don’t believe that all of us are wired to be CEOs or Executive Directors, I do believe that God has given all of us the gift to lead from the second chair!

Leading from the second chair for me has been birthed from two passions and three principles. I have a passion to help people find their way back to God AND to help them discover God’s purpose and plan for their lives. In order to make these passions a reality from the second chair, I have lived by these three principles:

1. Leadership is about influence and using that influence to spur others toward a common goal.
2. Leading from the second chair eventually requires you to learn to lead from the first chair or to submit to someone else’s leadership.
3. A GOOD leader leads… a GREAT leader teaches others to lead.

I have had the privilege to see first hand three women who lead from the second chair although there are many more I could write about! Angie has taken her pain of loss and grief and turned into a website and soon to be book. Although she is not counseling every person that’s on a similar journey, from the second chair she has provided encouragement, affirmation and hope! She and her best friend  Jessica also started a book club to provide further encouragement! My dear friend Brandi’s second chair leadership has MANY different facets, but one of my favorites is her blog. She uses her second chair to inspire, encourage and just make people laugh, that yes, even pastors’ families aren’t perfect.

Any further insights or experience you have had in leading from the second chair?

Last week while we were in Las Vegas Merlyn and I decided to enjoy a bit of the great outdoors.  This is not uncommon.  Sight seeing often involves a bit of adventure for us.

On this trip we opted to tackle Turtlehead Peak at Red Rock Canyon.  Turtlehead Peak is a 2,000 foot mountain that you ascend at a pretty steep grade.  We had our work cut out for us in the triple digit temperatures, but we made it and enjoyed the beautiful view.

As I was climbing this peak I got to thinking about how at ease I was because I could clearly see my destination.  I haven’t spent much time in the West and so I found myself surprised by the barrenness of the dessert.  I’ve often heard that westerners get claustrophobic when they come to the South because everything is lush and hilly.  They can’t see where they need to go and it drives them crazy.  Growing up in the Midwest and spending most of my life in the South, I’m pretty accustomed to the foliage and a run through the lush, hilly parks around Nashville is soothing to me.

So as I’m processing this, attempting to distract myself from the mountain in front of me and the fact that I don’t appear to be getting to my destination as quickly as I’d hoped, I of course began to make my parallels to leadership.  You see in this case I was following along behind my husband and never questioned his leadership or direction.  I’d like to say that I never question his leadership and direction but, well… um… I’d be lying. Frankly, I’m not a good follower.  I like to be confident the leader knows where he is going and I’m not so quick to trust if I can’t see the destination for myself.  In this case, I could clearly see that the leader was on the right track.  Rewind to a Catron adventure a couple of years ago when we were lost in the woods of Tennessee and you wouldn’t have seen such a calm, compliant follower.

This whole deal got me thinking about how well I really follow the leaders in my life.  Yeah, it’s easy for me to get on board when I see a clear outcome and see the benefits in it for me, but how well do I follow and trust the vision/direction when the destination is not quite as clear?

I think there is a lesson in this for both the leader and the follower:

As the leader, what can you do to make the destination more clear for your team? Sure you might not be able to completely clear the way, remove all the obstacles and give a clear line of site, but perhaps you can articulate the path a little more clearly.

And as the follower, how can you develop greater trust and confidence in your leader? Do you need to ask a few more questions?  Can you talk more about what lies ahead?  Can you trust even when you can’t see?

I was 15.  shy.  insecure.  timid.  nervous.  scared.

Standing over to the side of her busy ice cream shop, I waited patiently for an opportunity to inquire about a job.  I’m quite certain that I nearly bolted out a few times, but I needed to do this.  I wanted to work here.  I needed a job to earn money for college and I was going to stretch myself to branch out.

But she “noticed” me. This kind, outgoing, sweet woman “noticed” me.

That was 18 years ago, but I still credit Bonnie with being one of the most influential people in my life (outside of my family).  At a very critical season in my life, Bonnie “noticed” me.  She saw my potential and she drew it out of me.  Bonnie helped me believe that I could do big things.  She challenged me both personally and professionally.  She gave me responsibility beyond my years or experience.  She dreamed dreams for me that I would have never imagined.

18 years later I still call her friend.  Even though years will pass between opportunities to see each other, we pick right back up and laugh over old memories, inside jokes and dramatic staffing debacles.

My years working with Bonnie were critical in developing my gifts as a leader.  I really believe that those summers in the ice cream shop were the place where my leadership gift was cultivated and developed.  And for that I’m truly grateful.

I’m not sure that I can ever repay Bonnie for the investment she made in my life, but I hope that I learned well from her example and am able to “notice” someone in my life the way she noticed me.

Thank you, Bonnie, for your love, faith, belief and support of me!  You are a treasure and my life has been so enriched by you!

I wish I could say that I just naturally took the initiative to “notice” Bonnie for her investment in my life.  Truth be told, The Noticer Project is responsible for triggering this post.  Based upon Andy Andrews book “The Noticer”, The Noticer Project challenges you “to notice the five most influential people in your life.”  Bonnie is the first of my five that I wanted to share with you… more to come!

So how about you?  Who “noticed” you and what will you do to notice them?

It’s been a very busy weekend of wedding festivities.  My youngest sister Donna was married off to a wonderful guy named Matt on Saturday.

Here are a few pics from the wedding and then some highlights from the rest of the weekend.  I’ve been enjoying some of the novelties of the great north!

Other things I’ve been up to:

• Visiting with a lot of our extended family
• Running, walking, biking in the beautiful, but slightly cool weather
• Grilling out with the family and eating a good old Wisconsin brat
• Laughing at the northern accents of everyone while they laugh at some of my southern-isms
• Playing swing ball and corn hole (Ben & Brad – I’m improving!)
• Sitting by a bonfire in Dad’s back yard talking, laughing and reminiscing
• Working on editing the behind-the-scenes video highlights of the wedding (there is footage of my 29 year old cousin Brad dancing to NSync “Bye Bye Bye” – priceless!)

It’s been a great weekend with family and a much needed break!

Hope you have enjoyed this Memorial Day weekend too!