Hello Friday!

What a great week.

• I’m so proud of the Leading and Loving It team.  Nearly 2700 women participate in the JustONE Conf this week.  Amazing!  If you’re a pastor’s wife or women in ministry, you need to jump in and join us Monday.  Get all the details here.
• Several conversations this week helped me move the ball down the field on a couple of key projects.  That always feels good.
• My team on the Cultivate Her site are writing some really good posts right now.  Hop over and check out “How To Empower the Women in Your Church” by Sharon Hodde Miller and “The Glass Walls” by Shannon Miles.
• I love to make banana bread and my dog loves to lick the beaters.  We make a good team.
• Our Exec staff is reading Great by Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck–Why Some Thrive Despite Them All by Jim Collins.  Your team really needs to read this!  Does your team know what your ’20 Mile March’ is?  They should.
• I went to see the movie The Iron Lady last night.  Such a pitiful depiction of such an influential leader.  No matter your political bent, any leader with that much gumption should be honored better than that.
• Shopping for my India trip must happen this weekend.  Pretty much that means lots of snacks so I can survive all the curry.
• I’m getting increasingly more excited and less fearful of all that 2012 holds!

Have a great weekend!

I’ve developed a new fascination…

Rare books, preferably first editions of some of my favorites like Anne of Green Gables.

(Btw, I can’t actually afford these books… I just like to search for them and imagine a library in my home full of them.)

Reading didn’t come easily for me as a child.  My memories of 1st grade reading class are painful, but I was so hungry to learn that I worked and worked until I finally figured out how it all fit together.  Once I tackled it, I wouldn’t put a book down.  (I still get in trouble from time to time for having my nose in a book rather than my heart in a conversation.)

I think part of my stubbornness to learn to read was rooted in my independent nature.  I didn’t want anyone else to tell me what I needed to learn.  I wanted to read it and learn it for myself.

While that attitude has served me well in some ways, it’s also hindered me in others.

You see, we need to learn from others.

One of the most valuable things I’m learning in this season of life is to constantly surround myself with people who are smarter than I am.  And yes, that’s a little scary at times.  The willingness to acknowledge that you don’t know it all or can’t figure it all out on your own is a big sucker punch to your pride.  Pride challenges you to cover up your ignorance.  It teaches you to bluff your way through things you know nothing about.

But when you give into pride, you allow yourself to live in ignorance.  Pride holds you back and inhibits you from vulnerably acknowledging you don’t know something.

Surround yourself with people smarter than you.

When you are facing a project or challenge that is new or unknown, find others who are more experienced to coach you through it.

Don’t be afraid of acknowledging that you don’t know.  In doing so, you actually prove that you know more than you think.

Ok, I have to share… I have a small pet peeve.

I cringe when I see things that are labeled “Christian”.

I’ll give you an example:

Over the Christmas holiday, my husband and I made the long drive back to Wisconsin to visit some of my family.  I usually busy myself with reading or writing while we’re driving but on this particular stretch of the trip I was just kicking back taking in the sites.  As I was reading billboards and studying vast stretches of farmland, I kept seeing signs for the “Christian Outlet Mall”.

Christian Outlet Mall?  What in the world is that?  I’m familiar with Christian bookstores full of Christian music, books and Precious Moments trinkets but how in the world is there enough product to fill an entire outlet mall?

I was so curious I actually wanted to stop and check this place out, but it was Christmas Day… no one is open on Christmas Day (I know because I ate popcorn and a V8 for lunch from the one gas station we could find open) and certainly not an entire mall that calls itself Christian.

For as much as I could deduce from the signs, I don’t think this Christian Outlet was full of Christian products.  I think it was just an outlet mall that was owned by Christians.

But here’s why that’s a pet peeve for me…

Why do we feel the need to proclaim we’re Christian through inanimate objects?

“Let your light so shine before men that they will see your good works and glorify your father which is in heaven.”  Matthew 5:16

I don’t want to have to say that I’m a Christian, I want it to be obvious.  The fruits of the spirit are compelling… they’re distinct… they get attention.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are counter-cultural (Galatians 5:22-23).  If you are displaying those things people will want to be a part of what you are doing.  The evidence of fruit in your life will go much farther than putting a Christian bumper sticker on your car, the icthus on your advertising or the word Christian in your name.

Be the light and it will shine!

Ok, I’m off my soapbox now

Probably one of the greatest challenges for young leaders is finding your leadership voice.

We mimic.

We compare.

We try and fail.  We try again.

We have moments of success and moments of failure (perceived and sometimes real).

Our inconsistency in leading is nauseating for us and those we lead.

While some elements of leadership come naturally, I believe that most of leadership is learned over time and as we glean wisdom.  You can’t microwave the wisdom that comes from experience.

Here are three kinds of leaders I consistently see:

The Timid Leader – The timid leader has strong leadership potential but is so worried about making sure everyone likes their plan/vision/idea that they are wishy-washy with direction.  They react to the emotional responses of people therefore making them inconsistent and hard to follow.

The Dominant Leader – The dominant leader dictates everything & expects everyone to follow.  Their insecurity is masked by their need to prove they know it all.  The result is resentment from those they lead.

The Confident Leader – The confident leader leads with positivity & decisiveness.  They are confident in their calling but humble in their approach.  They are not afraid to do what’s right even when it’s not popular.  They don’t react to emotional responses from those they lead.  Instead, they lead people through them with grace and patience.

What kind of leader are you?

What other types of leaders have you observed?

Whew!  Very full week with a lot of great things happening!

• I’m totally sucked into Downton Abbey.  I really believe I should have been born in England.  The Brits get me every time!  We watched the entire first season in a week!
• Had the privilege of going to Elevation for a night of Code Orange Revival.  Grateful for our friends there.  Bonus was dinner with Lysa Terkeurst!
• Being an aunt is a blast.  My sister sent this picture to me this week.  Sweet little Charlotte had craft time at daycare and made this little penguin with her foot print.  Charlotte’s cute little chunky toes turned into a penguin’s hiney… brilliant! (as the Brits would say… see I told you I should have been British and I am drinking a cup of English Breakfast tea right now too) 

• The countdown for our trip to India is on!  Just got my visa back and realized I only have 2 1/2 weeks before we leave.
• The JustONE Conference starts Monday.  Are you planning to join us?
• Why do your biggest growth moments and your worst days have to be so closely linked to one another?  I had a few of those this week.
• I think I get to run with Ashley today!   Honored to steal some of Ash’s time since it’s sweet Audrey’s 2nd birthday!!

Ok, sorry today is just a bunch of rambling.  Have a great weekend everyone!

On the couple of trips I made to Honduras last year, one of the landmarks that got my attention was a wind farm just south of the great city of Tegucigalpa.  51 wind turbines tower above the hilly landscape providing a significant energy source for the country.

Juxtaposed against their primitive and poverty-stricken surroundings, the wind turbines give the feeling of strength, confidence, hope and progress.

Call me crazy for seeing that in inanimate objects but believe me, they really do!

And as if you weren’t waiting for my analogy … leaders are wind turbines too.

Leaders are energy creators.

We get out of our team the energy we give to them.  We have to create the energy that we want our team to exude.

We can’t react to the energy (or lack of it) from others.  We have to create the energy that we want our team to work from.

So how are you creating energy?  Are you creating it or reacting to it?

There are a lot of special people in my life.  People who I want to champion, encourage, coach, mentor and just all around support.

But every once in awhile I realize I am not enough.  I can’t be all of the things they need all of the time.  There will be moments that they need someone and I can’t be there or don’t even know how to be there.  There will be some things that I just can’t be for them.

I’m not talking about being their savior.  I know I’m not that.  I’m talking about the times where someone else told them exactly what they needed to hear… or someone else listened well and didn’t judge… someone else could understand their hurt, frustration or celebration better than I could.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t have a voice or a place in their life.  It just means that I need to understand my role and play that well in the lives of the people around me.  I won’t be able to be there for everything.  I won’t always be the right person for every moment or situation.

But more importantly, I need to recognize what role I do play and I need to be there to play that role.  I can’t miss my moments.

And you can’t miss yours…

There are people in your life who need you. 

They need you for the role that only you can play in their life.  They need you to be sensitive and aware of the voice you have and not push yourself into places that you need to let others be.  They need you to be confident.  They need you to be assuring.  They need you to bring the wisdom that only you can bring from your unique experience.  You are in the lives of others for a reason.

Who has God uniquely given you influence with?  Who needs your unique perspective and voice in their life?

You will never be enough for every moment of their life but you are exactly enough when you play the role  you are positioned to play.

“So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” I Kings 3:9 (NIV)

Solomon’s prayer for wisdom.

He prayed for:

1) A discerning heart

2) Ability to distinguish between right and wrong

Leaders, lets make that our prayer today!

We got our first little smattering of snow last night.  I use the word smattering because what we got doesn’t even qualify as a dusting.  60 degrees on Wednesday.  28 degrees and snow on Thursday.  Nashville weather is so weird!

What’s more weird is that schools are closed today.  I love the drama of the South!

Today I’ll be camped out in my sunroom with a cup of tea, a cozy candle and my computer pounding out some writing projects.  I woke up with ideas flowing this morning.  I love those days when the anticipation and expectation overflows.  I hope it’s indicative of what God has in store for this year.

While I’m thinking about it, there are a couple of great things going on this month that you should check out:

My friends at Leading and Loving It are hosting JustONE, a virtual conference for Pastor’s Wives and Women in Ministry.  Four consecutive weeks of some amazing speakers including Kay Warren, Holly Furtick, Lysa TerKeurst and Lisa Young.  The conference begins January 23rd.  Get all the details and register for FREE here!

Cross Point is going to be a host site for The Elephant Room on January 25th.  Seven pastors will agree to disagree on some of the biggest issues facing Christianity today.  Get all the details here.

Ok, that’s all for today.

What’s the biggest thing you’re looking forward to this month?

Are you an influencer?

Are you a manager?

Or are you a leader?

Leadership has become a very muddied word.  We interchange leader for a lot of different things and the confusion I see most commonly is between these three words:

Influencer, Manager & Leader.

We tend to use them interchangeably, but I don’t believe they are completely interchangeable.  Follow this train of thought…

A manager can be a leader.

An influencer can be a leader.

But a manager is not always a leader.

And an influencer is not always a leader.

Influencers are encouragers.   They make people feel inspired.  Influencers are usually popular and well-liked.

Managers keep people on task.  They make the tough decisions.  Managers are rarely popular or well-liked.

Both influencers and managers lead people to action for different reasons.

If you are just one or the other, you are not a leader.  A leader understands the combination of both and has the discernment to know when he needs to lean to one side or the other.  A leader is comfortable not always being popular but a leader also knows he won’t move people for long if he’s always making unpopular decisions.  True leaders lead because they know it is what is best for everyone even if everyone doesn’t like it all the time.  That’s the leadership distinctive.

Ok, share with us what you think…